Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Inner Voice

Yesterday I attempted to make brownies, the non-primal kind. I don't know what possessed me to think that this would be a great idea. I guess I just had this insane wish for sweet chocolate and nothing, but nothing, was gonna stand in my way. I'm not sure what to do about that kind of craving. If something could knock me out before I do something stupid like that, I'd lose weight AND get sleep at the same time.

 Except I ran out of margarine. So I had the chocolate paste ready, but no way to grease the pan. So I left it in the fridge.

But then bad things happened. I grabbed a spoon. Oh yes I did.

Then I dipped that spoon into the paste (others would call it 'batter' but by then the whole thing resembled oreo cookie icing) AND PROCEEDED TO LICK THE SPOON. Then I did it again. And again. And again and again and again and again. Etc.

Today I got sick of it. Not sick from it, mind you, but just tired of the overly sugary weird texture of chocolate paste. So I threw the rest of it in the garbage and tossed the bowl and spoon in the sink but not before my waist literally expanded an inch.

Damn me and my bad ideas.

So, to ensure this doesn't happen again, I also threw out the remaining wheat flour that was in my pantry as well as the remaining granulated white sugar. I do have the rest of the sugar that's in my tin, for when people come over they like it in their coffee, etc. but for me I will stick with natural sweeteners like dates and honey.

Anyways, my inner voice was not in top form today. All that consciously ran through my head were the following:

  • Do people not understand how awesome doing yoga in long underwear feels?
  • Finally, after a year of sitting at home, things have started to get boring
  • All these fun winter activities to do, and all I want is to hibernate.
  • I ate so much chocolate goo, it literally squirted out my bum
  •  Tassimo is a poor man's cappuccino maker (later I realized what I really meant was espresso maker, but you should be picking up what I'm putting down)
  • If I was living my dream life, I'd be surrounded by books and beautiful things
  • Yeah, you know what? I don't care
  • There are no words to describe how much I love my long johns
  • Why do I have to resemble Miss Piggy SO MUCH?!
  • Like kindergarteners, I, too, need a designated nap time. 

  There you have it. My day in ten bullet points.

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