So I went for an hour long walk with Peggy Sue, my beagle puppy. She loved every minute of it. I did fine until the last 10 minute stretch. My thighs were getting numb from the cold, and my feet were getting sore from breaking in my new snow boots. But all in all, it was a good start.
I wasn't planning on having supper. I wasn't hungry at all. But it my head I was thinking it's supper time, so that means I have to have supper, right? My fiancee is the opposite of me. I wish to aspire to some of his eating habits. He eats carrots and apples, like a horse, for snacks. For some reason I got a crazy sweet tooth craving, and I baked brownies. Except I put in almond extract when it called for vanilla, because I was out of vanilla. And that ended up making the brownies kinda weird-tasting. So Fiancee only had 2 pieces. But I had three.
Then I fell asleep early, on the couch. When we finally went to bed, I had a nightmare about my wedding dress being so completely ill-fitting and tight and just entirely WRONG. It sounds shallow, I know, but I think it's the equivilent of standing up in front of the whole class naked. As a bride, you're generally the center of attention for a whole day. That is a lot of pressure for someone who doesn't like crowds.
I woke up in a panic at 3:15am and proceeded to load up a plate with brownies, accompanied with a big glass of milk. After a bite or two, I admitted to myself that I really only liked the top of the brownies, which were more fudgy. So I broke off all the pieces that were left, discarded the bottoms, and put the tops on my plate. After eating about half of it, I admitted to myself I was making my body sick. So I threw the rest of it into the trash and finished the rest.
Now I can't stop farting (because milk and grains will do that to me) and I feel sick with food.
Am I a complete idiot? I feel like pavlov's dog. There's a bell ringing in my head, and I start salivating for more.
It's now 5:30am and I'm starting to feel tired again. I'm watching MASH and doing the dishes in between episodes. My goal is to finish the whole series before I start getting into the holiday spirit. It's only November 20 and some people already have their trees up and houses decorated. I'm determined not to be one of those people, especially since my holiday is on Dec. 21 and it's not a commercial holiday.
Anyways, I guess we'll see what happens. I'm not going to put anything down on paper as to what I'm going to do, because I seriously don't know where to start. Except maybe throwing out all the baking supplies in my house...
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