Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Well, Saturday was awesome :) I got to spend time with my bridesmaids, we found a bridesmaid dress that I love (and I think they like it too) and I got to try on my wedding dress!

One thing I'm particularly happy about is the fact that my dress actually fit. I was SO SCARED it wouldn't. Like seriously frightened. But it did up. It was tight, and it took some struggle, but it did up!

Now my only problem is this: What happens if I get down to my goal weight? What will my dress fit like then? Will it fit? Will it be too big? Now I have this fear that if I lose the weight I want to lose, my dress won't fit. What will I do then?

Bah, can't win.

It helped that day that one of my bridesmaids is on a strict diet, so eating well was easy while she was around. But when it was just my mom, sister and I, I slipped up and had a blueberry bagel. I couldn't help it. I have a tremendous weakness for those blueberry bagels and I only get one if it's available, which it isn't always.

Then Sunday I made a big pot of healthy stew. It was delicious. I was at home alone all day, and super tired. Saturday took a lot out of me, and I hardly got any sleep when I finally came home. So what did I do to stay awake? I made stew. And then I ate it. I seriously ate like 10 bowls of stew.

Although calorie-wise it is light compared to say, cheesecake, it is still volume heavy and I am scared to get on the scale. I really don't want to see a number higher than the one before.

Then yesterday morning which was Monday, I get a call at 7:10am from the supervisor at my work, where I only work casual, asking me if I could come in for the whole day. I said yes, since I'd like the money, but the problem was work starts at 7:30. So I hopped in the shower and tried to rush, but it wasn't gonna happen. I was not going to be at work on time.

Anyways, long short story is that I just could not wake up. I was sleepy. All I want lately are my jammies, a warm drink and a blanket. I don't know why I have no motivation to do anything else except comfort myself. I'm suspecting I'm a big of a hedonist. Pleasure before pain.

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